Thankful for July 9

Today I'm thankful for sweet conversations with my 4 year old that led to talking about God, Jesus, Adam, Eve, the Garden, Satan the snake, and eventually PRAYER!!!  Wow, I think I'm FINALLY getting through to my 4 year old...I mean, he knows we pray before we eat dinner, he knows we pray in church, but today's conversation led to him deciding that he needed to pray to God to help him be a good listener. 

Sometimes I need that reminder too...that I'm not always a good listener.  Right now, I'm trying ever so hard to listen to where God wants me to go with my life and quite honestly, I don't feel him speaking in some areas, but I can see he's getting ready to do something with my life based on my past and based on things my 4 year old and I talk about on the way in to Muskegon.  Hopefully this little car ride stuck with my son and he continues to pray to God whenever he needs someone to listen to him, or when he just needs to talk to God. 

Thankful for May 11, 2013

So today, before I forget, I just need to say Thanks God for Kyler and the gift you gave me in him.  He gave me tears in my eyes today at Kohl's.  We went shopping for Mother's day since I've been out of town at a conference and haven't really had time to sit and do much of anything.  Kyler brought some of his own money (reluctantly) with him to be spending on the important "mothers" in his life.  As we were walking through Kohl's he kept saying, Mom, I'm gonna buy you a ring, a necklace, and a bracelet.  Won't you like that?  It was too cute.  Then we got over by the jewelry because he was so intent on finding something for his mom for mother's day that he could spend his own money on.  He kept picking up really gaudy stuff and I kept trying to convince him along with Nate that we should keep looking.  Nate finally found a "packaged deal" of 5 bracelets that was on clearance.  He decided that would be a good gift and took them, but continued to look around at the other jewelry.  He kept saying, but mom, I just want to buy you something.  Then he said but mom, I want to buy you everything!  It made 2 other ladies in the store say awwww and it brought tears to my eyes!  Lord knows I needed that little blessing today, so Thanks Lord for the little reminders that you're right here with me!

Thankful March 16, 2013

Again I'm thankful for a few things...

1. A GREAT husband and dad!  He got up to pat Lena on the back at 3:30 and let me go back to sleep til 6!  I got more good rest...just wish I wasn't sick!  Nate also got up and made green breakfast in honor of us celebrating my FAVORITE holiday...St. Patrick's Day!  We had green eggs, green pancakes, and spam.  It was GOOD and filling!

2. Time with family...even if it was in the FREEZING cold!  We got a couple good pictures of me with the kids sitting waiting for the St. Patrick's day parade to start!  and then we went and celebrated lunch at Florentine's with a GREEN drink!  It was fun.

3. Extended family!...Had my nephew over tonight while my sis and brother in-law went to a comedy thing...and it was fun!  We got 3 kids fed, changed, and in bed (well, Kyler wasn't asleep, and it was hard to get the other 2 to sleep), but we did it!  Also, I got a message from my aunt on facebook and hopefully my words were encouraging to her as well.

4. a post about my dad on facebook and how he was such a faith filled man and so influential...I guess after all these years, I never really thought of my dad quite like that, but it was nice seeing someone else recognizing him for what he did...and it made me really think about how I was raised as well.

5. Saturday nights!  I'm so full right now with everything the LORD has given me this week and I can't wait to go to church tomorrow and just spend my time in worship!  I'm so relaxed from what this week brought me and now I'm ready to go back to God's house and praise HIM!

6. More encouraging and uplifting messages from friends (again, thanks Pam...and hopefully some day you read this!)

Thankful March 15, 2013

Today, I'm thankful for MANY things...

1. Waking up feeling rested.  I slept for a 6 hour stretch last night and can feel a difference this morning.

2. Godly people I am surrounded by who encourage me and push me forward!  (Thanks Pam!)

3. Fridays (and payday Friday at that!)

4. Radios in the car--I swear some days God is speaking directly to me through the songs that come on the radio--it's eerie!

5.  A WONDERFUL husband who is SO loving and caring, and a GREAT dad!  Sure we have our differences and challenges, but I'm so glad God brought Nathan and I together and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him!

6. A great daycare provider for my children who is not only their daycare provider, but a friend.  She is also very informative!

7. My daughter is SLEEPING!!!  We'll see how it goes tonight (she was/is sick and didn't sleep much at daycare today).

8. Sunday is St. Patrick's Day...my FAVORITE holiday cause of the color!  Can't wait to spend a little down time celebrating with my family (even though we're not in the least bit Irish!)

Thankful March 3, 2013

Today I am thankful for my son's conversation.  The first time in the car on the way to Muskegon to my parent's house, Kyler told me that he prayed today in his children's church and he said he was thankful for "his baby" (aka, Lena).  We talked about being thankful and praying and how we need to do this daily because no matter what, God is GOOD!  We also talked today after lunch when we got a call that my Grandma Ritchard (dad's mom) had passed away.  Kyler painted such a sweet innocent picture of Heaven and that he would be going to Heaven someday to see Gigi Elvie and that she was now flying on the clouds.  He made us laugh and lightened up a very dark, sad occasion. 

Thankful March 2, 2013

Today I am thankful for Fun down time with my family.  We took Kyler and Lena to go see Disney on Ice today and enjoyed 2 hours of watching some of Kyler's favorite Disney characters dance around on ice skates (or as Kyler likes to say, roller skates!).  It was a fun and relaxing time with family!

Thankful March 1, 2013

Today I am thankful for FRIDAY!!!  It has been a while now since we've had a full week of school, and I can feel it.  I am exhausted and tired, but I have made it, and I am happy.  I am also thankful for an administrator who backs me up on controlling my class and helps step in when needed.

Thankful February 28, 2013

Today I am thankful for time to work on and finish my MASTER'S!  My husband took the kiddos so that I could finish up and submit my paper by my end of February deadline to my professors.  I technically haven't fully completed the paper yet since I still need to format it and add my abstract, my title page, cover page, and works cited pages, but I have the bulk of my project done and my paper is written and turned in for feedback.  Hopefully now, my professors will look at it, get it back to me, I will make corrections in a timely manner, and then submit for a final grade! YAY!  I'm in the homestretch now!

Thankful February 27, 2013

Today I'm thankful for parents...My daycare lady is gone on a Disney Cruise (lucky her!!!) and my parents and Nate's parents grouped together to cover ALL 5 days of the week to take care of my kiddos.  Nate's mom was with them Monday and Tuesday, my dad was with them on Wednesday, and my mom is with them Thursday and Friday.  I am SO thankful for parents that are willing to also take days to watch my kids so that I don't have to use up sick days!

Thankful February 26, 2013

Today I'm thankful for medicine (tylenol!).  I spent the day mostly in pain because I was being part stubborn and part not wanting to take something and mess up my dwindling milk supply (I've gotta make it 3 more months after all!).  I sat working with a few coworkers on some 1st grade science/social studies stuff (actually I'm thankful for GREAT coworkers too cause they did most of the work today cause I was in SO much pain!) and couldn't really concentrate since I hurt so badly.  On my way home I hurt so badly I found it hard to focus, but I made it home safely and took some medicine and after about an hour, started to feel better.  I'm thankful for the meds too cause now I can get my butt in gear and finish up my last section on my master's (hopefully) and submit it before Friday to my prof! (fingers crossed that that will happen!!!).

Thankful Feb. 25, 2013

Today I am thankful for Javi...I must say Javi is an interventionist in my school.  I have a particular student who is VERY difficult to deal with and gets me oh so frustrated, but Javi gladly takes the challenge to work with him/her everyday...sometimes 2 and 3 times each day...AND, he does it with a smile!  Javi, if ever you read my blog and I don't tell you enough in person, thanks again!  You're a lifesaver!

Back to 365 days of being thankful!

Well, I just looked over a few posts from last year...LAST year wow.  That seems like forever ago, but we are QUICKLY approaching my daughter's first birthday...what???? and I want to start up blogging again each and every day about something that I am thankful for...so, here goes:

Today, I am thankful for a break.  My mother-in-law came over so she could watch the kiddos tomorrow (Monday) and Tuesday because our daycare lady is on vacation.  She got here and took us out to eat at Red Robin.  Normally I don't really like Red Robin, but I went along because that's where she wanted to go and I was hungry.  I ended up eating ALL of my food (chicken and fries) and then we came home and I got to work a little more on my Master's paper.  I'm really hoping to have it finished by this week Friday 3/1.  We'll see....but today, my mother-in-law came at the perfect time.  I was getting frustrated with Nate and the kids because they hadn't taken naps, and I was worn out.  Leaving our house and frustration behind could not have come at a better time...so, thanks mom-in-law for taking us away!  Now, I need to get up to bed so I don't miss my sleep window!

What a Sunday!

Well, let me just start by saying I need to use this blog as more of a documentation...looks like I haven't been doing a very good job at it, but oh well...we'll keep on trying.

Yesterday Nate and I were home for the weekend with not much else planned but for me to work yet again on my Master's paper...I'm almost done...I think!  Anyways, Nate asked since Kyler had his money jar FULL of money from his birthday and Christmas and other odds and ends if he wanted to use his money to go and buy something from the store that he's said he has wanted for some time now...a Batcave!  Of course Kyler was all for it so after both the kids got up from their naps and I finished working on a section of my paper, we headed to Meijers, but not before setting aside some of the money for the bank and some for our church.

Kyler got his Batcave, he LOVED it and made sure he sat it RIGHT next to his bed so Lena couldn't get it (as if she was going to wake up in the middle of the night, crawl out of her crib and "get it" ha!).  Anyways, the story doesn't stop there.  This morning, after everyone got a good night's sleep, we woke up and got ready for church.  Kyler made sure he tucked his dollars in his pocket to take to church to put in the collection.

We got to church and sat in the balcony.  Kyler walked downstairs to the front of church for the Praise & Play blessing all by himself.  Just before the kids left the sanctuary and before the prayer, Kyler handed his dollars to Pastor Steve and walked off without another word.  Pastor Steve chuckled a little and said he'd just leave the money in the front for the offering because he wasn't sure where it was supposed to go either.  Nathan returned to the balcony and he and I both could not contain our laughter.  I made sure to take a notecard from the pew and write down the event to put in Kyler's scrapbook for later as well.

The story is STILL not done however.  As we were walking out of church to head to our car, Pastor Doug stopped me and asked me if Kyler had used the word smokin' alot at home.  I looked at him a little puzzled and responded, no, why?  He proceeded to tell me that Kyler had said the term a few times over to explain the color of his hands after singing/clapping.  I again, could not contain my laughter.  Oh how wonderful to be a child, and Thank-you LORD for the blessing you have given me in Kyler.  I needed that little bit of laughter today!

Oh, and quick update on Lena...knock on wood of course! but I think we have her figured out.  She's been waking up several times (like 3-4 times) for the past little while now, and tylenol wasn't helping her.  We brought her in for her 9 month appointment last week and Dr. R said we could feed her MORE food.  I of course thought we were giving her enough with 3 things of Gerber a day (plus her nursing/milk of course) however was shocked to hear Dr. R say we could give her double...DOUBLE what we were giving her plus the milk she was still getting from me! WOW.  We've been doing that now for the last week and she sleeps 8.5-9ish hours at night.  This morning (Sunday) she woke up at 5, nursed, and went right back to sleep for another 2 hours!  I'm hoping that now that she has 4 teeth in too that she continues to sleep well like this at night.  It would be a blessing on it's own! 

AHHH Bliss

Just a few quick pics to show you all what we've been up to lately....MELTS MY HEART!

What's in a name?

Just a quick note to let you all know how we decided on Lena's name:

First, my grandmother (mom's mom) is named Ottolena.  She has meant the world to me and has always been someone I really looked up to.  When Nathan and I started talking kids names way back before we were even considering having kids, the name Lena came up.  Later realizing our first child was a boy and giving him a K name, we talked and Nathan wanted the name Koralena as a K name for a girl since it would also combine my Grandma's name and it was a K name to go with Kyler.  I really did NOT like Koralena and convinced Nathan to go with just Lena even though it wasn't a K name.  He agreed and so Lena got her first name after her great-grandmother.

Second, Lena's middle name was a little bit more difficult.  I wanted Faith because I've really had to have faith throughout this entire journey.  I thought Faith was just a beautiful name, but Nathan wasn't sold.  Nathan wanted Marie (even though it was my mom's name).  I asked him if it would make his mother mad because we were already using Lena as her first name.  He said no and that it was our decision anyways.  I still wasn't sold on just Lena Marie, but I did like the idea of using Marie after my mother's name because my mom has been someone who has really been there for me through each of my miscarriages.  I have always been against having huge names OR double middle names, but something about the name Lena Faith-Marie just hit me one night.  I suggested to Nathan we use both middle names as sort of a compromise.  He wasn't sold on that, but after a little convincing he let me use both middle names with a hyphen because I told him I wanted to be able to explain to my little girl some day where she got her name from. 

So that's the story of how we came up with her name...and I'll tell you, it is the CUTEST thing in the world to hear Kyler say what his sister's name is.  I think after hearing it only one time in the hospital when we told him he was saying this is my baby sister--Lena Faith-Marie, and to this day if you ask him he will tell you her entire name.

Now, I wish I could come up with names to give my angels...or rather that Nathan would let me give them names...we're still working on that one, however my angel that I lost last April was going to be named Kayden James if he was a boy (which we later found out I was right--it was a boy!) so I'm just sticking with that.  For my first 2 angels, we don't know if they were boys or girls and if I suggest names or ask Nathan his opinion all he says is, well you just don't know if they were boys or girls so how can you give them names?  I think I may think about it a little more before I decide on a name for sure, but I felt like my first miscarriage I was carrying a boy and the 2nd was a girl so I guess we'll see if I come up with something--or who knows, maybe I'll just come up with a "generic" boy/girl name.  Either way, I guess it doesn't really matter because God knows them and they are up in heaven living with my Savior.

and here's my beautiful family on Nate & my 7th wedding anniversary just for fun!

Our Little Lena

Ok, so I know I've taken LONG enough...and I need need NEED to post Lena's birth story before I forget...so I guess here goes nothing.

Lena was due May 20, 2012 but I was scheduled for an induction on Monday May 14th.  I was to skip my evening dose of the heparin (I switched to this at 36 weeks from Lovenox) and go in to the hospital on Monday morning at 4am to get hooked up to the pitocin.  Originally I was set up to be induced on Sunday evening (Mother's day) however when I saw my doc the last week of my pregnancy she said I wouldn't need the "ripening" and so she would be pushing my induction to Monday morning.  Nate and I arranged for my parents to take Kyler Sunday evening and then we went out for one last "date night" kid free to Olive Garden and then we went to Target and Nate bought me a pair of pink sandals!  We then came home to try to get a little rest before going in to the hospital at 4am!

The whole last few weeks of my pregnancy were pretty miserable this time around because I was so itchy from head to toe.  I asked my doc about this and she said it could be something called choleostasis (sp?) which the only relief for this was delivery.  Anyways, Nate and I tried to get to bed early on Sunday evening (around 9pm) but I kept tossing and turning and ITCHING!  I can even remember Nate at one point saying Erin you're going to do more damage then helping the situation right now, go put on some lotion.  Lotion did NOT help and so I just kept itching til finally 3am rolled around and we got up, grabbed our bags, took one last pregnant picture, fed the cats, and we were on our way by 3:30 to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and we got to park pretty close to the doors in the ER ramp because not many people are at the hospital that early on a Monday morning I guess.  We went in and checked in at the desk and they sent us up to 3C to get all set up.  Apparently my doc didn't finish filling out orders for my induction so they had to call on a lot of things and we didn't end up getting all hooked up to the pitocin and going til around 5am.  The pitocin was pretty uneventful for the first little while.  I was even able to watch the movie Bride Wars!  Finally by about 10:00 I asked if I could at least try to labor some in the whirlpool tub since I remember this helping SO much with Kyler's birth.  The nurse told me I could with the wireless monitors so she went and got them and I got in the tub.  I labored for a little while til I felt a weird feeling and said I think I wanna get out of the tub now.  I drained the tub and when I stood up, my water broke.  I remember thinking uh-oh now the pain is REALLY gonna start, but it still wasn't horrible yet.  I got out of the bathroom and was checked, but I was only to a 4.  I thought oh no, this is not going to be good, however the contractions weren't right on top of each other and I could handle them.

Around 12:30 a new nurse came in to tell me that my nurse went to lunch and would be back.  I told her I felt like I had to go to the bathroom so she said well let me check you first.  She said I was at a 5 and at this point I remember thinking, ok I can't go any more and started debating getting an epidural.  My nurse came back and I had started rocking because the contractions were really starting to hurt now.  We asked my nurse about the epidurals as well as a birthing ball.  She went to get one, but when she came back I just said no, I want the epidural now.  Around 1:15 I was checked one last time (I was still at a 5, but FULLY effaced) and then the doc came in to give me the epidural.

After getting the epidural I was able to relax and I tried to get comfortable laying in bed.  I was checked again at about 2:30 and they said they were going to go call my doc at that point to let her know to come over to the hospital.  She got there, got her gown on, they broke down the bed and they had me push.  I pushed once with the first contraction (which this time I could feel to push, but had NO pain!) and then the nurse asked if she should get a 2nd set of hands as well as the intern.  My doc said, well you better hurry or they are gonna miss it.  They came in while my doc kept saying you better hurry, you're gonna miss it, however when they were all ready, then we had to wait for another contraction to come.  I pushed one more time with the next contraction and little Lena was born at 3:05pm.  They placed her immediately on my chest while they waited to deliver the placenta and to stitch me up.  I remember thinking man, she's got a LOT of vernix on her, but feeling her warm little body next to mine was the absolute BEST feeling in the world.  All I could think was WOW!  I was in awe and I kept praying and thanking God for this beautiful little gift that he had given me!

After they delivered the placenta, Nate finally asked if I was going to feed Lena (this was only about 10 minutes later, but it felt like forever!).  I was like, oh yeah--almost like I had forgotten about everything else except staring at my precious little miracle.  The nurse helped me position Lena and she immediately started sucking and kept going for like 10 minutes--SO different from Kyler.

After Lena finally finished sucking they took her to get her footprints done, her shots, and to get all her measurements.  She weighed 7 lbs. 3.9 oz. and was 20 in. long.  Shortly after all this, she had her first visitors--Big Brother Kyler and my mom and then right after that Aunt Megan, Uncle Ben, and cousin Lucas.  Everyone else waited to come and visit til we were on the postpartum floor (although I felt MUCH better and LOOKED much better this time around than when I had Kyler!).

Lena is now over a month old and I just canNOT believe I have 2 kids!  I take time to thank God for them daily as well as many other things.  Throughout this whole experience (the miscarriages) God has taught me to be patient and to be thankful and content in all circumstances.  I am so thankful for the gift I have been given in Lena Faith-Marie Studer!

Just something to remember

So there are a couple things that happened yesterday that I want to make sure I NEVER forget.  One was just so precious and the other one made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants (and they both came from my son!).  First the precious cute one:

• Yesterday I had my 93 year old Grandmother over just for some company.  Sometimes I think it's a little hard on her getting out of the house, but I know she just adores her great-grandchildren and you can see it every time she sees them.  Yesterday I was busy feeding little Lena and so Kyler asked her to read to him.  I thought oh no Kyler, Gigi can't read those words, they are too small...but she said nevermind and made the words out the best she could.  She may not have won any speed reading awards, but she won world's GREATEST grandma in the whole world award from me.  I had to run and grab my camera it was just too precious!  (I never upload photos on here cause I always forget my camera and by then the post is created, but check out my pics on facebook if you want!)  I caught Gigi reading to Kyler in the kitchen.  I even had a small tear in my eye.
  and now, the funny laugh out loud one!...
• Yesterday Kyler found a string on our back porch while playing that had 2 beads one on each end.  When I looked over at him, he was trying to stick the beads in his ears.   I asked him Kyler what are you doing.  He replied I'm like Zackie mom!  I'm listening to my music.  I thought what on earth are you talking about.  Well, then it clicked.  Zack is our daycare lady's son and he listens to his i-pod a lot and Kyler watches him almost daily.  Well anyways, I decided to say to Kyler oh, you're listening to your i-pod with your ear buds.  He says yeah mom.  Well then later I told him I had a pair of ear buds that he could use and to please stop putting the beads in his ears.  He took them out and proceeded to ask me the entire rest of the afternoon where my i-boobs were and could he please have my i-boobs.  This is for some reason the funniest thing (and maybe it's just a parent thing that all parents go through with their children--that you had to have been there sort of thing) to me and when he kept saying i-boobs I could NOT stop laughing.

Alright, well those were just to remind me of silly little things that Kyler or Lena do...I know I still have to record Lena's birth story on here yet, but for now she's asleep, Kyler's asleep and I NEED desperately to get some sleep!  I'm running on complete empty right now!  I'll try to get her birth story up soon!  Thanks for checking back.

Blessed

I've got the birth story coming...it's coming I promise! but for now, I just want to remember how truly blessed I really am.  I got started with this little nighttime ritual before little Lena came along with Kyler--Nate and I would read a bedtime story, sing a song, and I would stay cuddling Kyler for 5 minutes before Nate would come in and say ok, Kyler it's bedtime...well anyways, for the first time since Lena was born I got to cuddle for "just 5 minutes" with both of my babies and I  now know the feeling of being truly blessed!  I cried and afterwards thanked God for giving me this time with my babies!  For now, I've got a hungry baby that I need to go feed before my chest explodes! HA!  I'll get around to writing the whole birth story (which was WAY different than the first time around) soon, I promise!  For now, I'm off to cuddle and soak in all these days while my little Lena is so small!  Goodnight!

Well I'm back...

I promised I'd be back with updates...so here I am! Still no baby yet, but I feel like she's getting close, or she could just be messing with me too...who knows. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow where my doc will check me to see if there is any progress and also to let me know when we're going in for induction. I'm still secretly hoping I have this little lady before then (like tomorrow or Friday) but we'll see I guess. My doctor said last week at my appointment that she'd try to schedule my induction and that she'd let me know this week at my appointment when that would be. I'll be 39 weeks on Sunday (mother's day) and wouldn't that be just the best gift EVER to have the baby on Mother's day? I think so.

So, not much going on...last week I had a couple times where I thought contractions were starting, but then they eventually died off. I'm on my second week off work right now just waiting on this little lady. Ky and I have kept busy...with doctor appointments for me, for him, and for the cats so maybe this little lady will come grace us with her presence this week and we can run to the doctor for HER next week. It's all in HIS timing and I really am trying to be patient and rest up cause I know it will all change when there are 2 to take care of. I'm just getting anxious to see her and who she looks like and what her personality will be like.

Let's see, oh yes my background change...I put rainbows on the background cause this little lady (provided she comes and the LORD willing) will be my rainbow baby! Nathan reminded me yet again today about rainbows when he came home from work with some VERY interesting flowers...3 rainbow roses and 2 blue orchids (I'll have to take pictures and post them later! they really are quite unusual and neat!).

 I guess I don't really have too much else to report...we took Kyler to downtown Holland tonight and walked and walked and walked...so maybe that will jump start something. Who knows. Just keep praying that I'll keep sane these last couple days. I do know the end is in sight seeing as how both my doc and the specialist told me they would NOT let me go past my due date with this one...I just really hope it doesn't come to that date with no baby yet and also that I don't have to have a c-section...but I guess that's in his hands too. I suppose I should probably pack my hospital bag and Kyler's overnight bag, but I'm also pretty tired...maybe I'll just head to bed and worry about the hospital bag tomorrow:) I'll be back again soon I'm sure to update about any progress or worries/fears or joys I may have...or who knows, MAYBE I'll be back VERY soon to update about our little lady! Goodnight blog world.

Rainbows

Just a quick post saying I'll be back later tonight to explain more on my background change...I thought it was pretty fitting! See ya all back later tonight. Gretchen, this update's for you!