Tonight's Gonna be a Good Night!

Tonight's gonna be a good night! I just got that song stuck in my head...but I guess it fits. I didn't write last night, and don't think I'll have much time to write on here tonight since I have class, so I'm writing a few thoughts now while my students are in gym...

I woke up this morning and thanked God for being alive and able to breathe. When my husband called me on my way in to work, he asked me how I was doing. I told him, I'm good, and I'm happy. Today's gonna be a good day. He asked why? I said, well because it's the day God made and I'm not gonna let things get me down. To that my husband I felt responded by almost "mocking me" but again, I'm NOT gonna let that get me down. I don't think he meant anything by what he said, he just isn't at the same place I am with what has happened I guess. If you think about it, please pray for him that he will be able to open up to someone and deal with his grief. I hurt for him because he doesn't talk much and for me, talking just comes so naturally and I think I'm supposed to talk in order to go through my grief. I know everyone deals with grief differently and that my husband is very much different than I am in communicating, but I just feel so bad for him. My prayers are for him right now as I said earlier, I don't know how he is dealing with the grief because he doesn't even open up to me.

On another note, if you think about it, please pray for me with this whole process that I continue to have the faith in God and in doctors that they will find something that is wrong and be able to treat it. Something about this whole thing is just a little scary and when I think about it, it feels a little lonely. I have found a wonderful friend to talk with who has gone down the same road as myself and has had issues with sustaining a pregnancy and for that friend, I am VERY thankful! That friend is currently pregnant with twins after an IVF round in February. She could use some prayers as well. Alright, well I should probably sign off...oh, I guess one more thing before I go, please pray that I am able to accept what has happened and deal with my sister-in-law being pregnant with her first right now. The problem is not that she is pregnant, but that I felt we weren't extremely close before we both got pregnant, the pregnancy sort of brought us together and we were talking almost daily. Now, with my 3rd loss, I'm at a loss with what to do. I want to feel happy for her, but it's very difficult as I have felt a slew of emotions and don't know what to say or do and I don't think she knows what to do either. Please pray that God will show me his mercy and also comfort in this very difficult time. Thanks so much everyone for the prayers. I really truly can feel them and I know that God will not leave me! He is my rock!