Today, I am thankful for my husband! After all his complaining yesterday about Black Friday shopping, he did come out shopping with me and we got ALL of our gifts bought for Kyler for Christmas AND his birthday! YAY! When we got home from the inlaws today Nate helped me wrap the gifts so Kyler couldn't peek...but my thankfulness today came in riding home in the car with Nate.
I was talking with him about how Satan allows me to worry sometimes about my marriage and where we will be in the future and I got thinking about how long we will have been together on our anniversary coming up in June...I realized after thinking about it for all of 2 seconds that today, November 26th marked 10 years that we have been together to the day! That's a LONG time...and for that time, I am thankful! God is good and he has blessed me with a wonderful husband that not only cares about me but loves me and wants to stick with me forever! Alright, well I better sign off for now. I could go on and on about my hubby, but he's buggin me right now to spend a little "tv watchin" time with him! Til tomorrow:)
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Friday November 25, 2011
So today I was thinking...I've started over now 3 times...I just can't decide what to write about I guess. My thankfulness today comes after spending time with family as well as the man I love...I did a TON of wonderful things today, but the thing I am MOST thankful for is spending time snuggling my little man. After spending time with family since Wednesday and not really sleeping well, today at about 5pm, Kyler crashed and crashed HARD! I took him upstairs because he hadn't had a nap yesterday or today to try and at least get a little shut eye. He laid right down on the bed next to me and we were both cashed out immediately! I am thankful that God granted me the ability to care for and raise my child and that he entrusted his life to me! Kyler snuggling up to me was just a reminder to me of how God cares for me and loves me too!
New Project...
So I was thinking the other day how everyone EXCEPT me was writing notes of thanks for the month of November. I decided that it would be fun (if I can keep on myself to do it) to write just a quick blurb about what I'm thankful for for an entire year so that next year around Thanksgiving I can look back at my "notes" and see what exactly I was thinking and what I was thankful for. I may not catalog everything on here, but I'm gonna at least give it a go to see how it goes and hopefully when I'm then back at home I can write in my journal and share as I see fit...so....without further adu I guess I should start for my thoughts from yesterday.
Thursday November 24, 2011
My first thought is where to start. What am I thankful for the most and what am I going to start with? Where to start...I'm thankful for the God I serve! He guides me, leads me, tests me, helps me, heals me, trusts me, answers me, pushes me, carries me, uses me, and so much more. I'm so thankful for a God to serve that not only brings me through the valleys so my eyes are opened but a God who brings me to the tops of the hills to be able to look out on all that I have to be thankful for. What a full and satisfying feeling to be able to serve this God. So today, I'm just thankful to God for being there in every single circumstance...even the bad ones!
Thursday November 24, 2011
My first thought is where to start. What am I thankful for the most and what am I going to start with? Where to start...I'm thankful for the God I serve! He guides me, leads me, tests me, helps me, heals me, trusts me, answers me, pushes me, carries me, uses me, and so much more. I'm so thankful for a God to serve that not only brings me through the valleys so my eyes are opened but a God who brings me to the tops of the hills to be able to look out on all that I have to be thankful for. What a full and satisfying feeling to be able to serve this God. So today, I'm just thankful to God for being there in every single circumstance...even the bad ones!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Our God is AWESOME!
If nothing else, this whole miscarriage journey has really brought me closer and more in tune with God and what he wants from me and my life! What an AWESOME God I serve! For starters, I got some news from the doctor's office about bloodwork that I had done a couple weeks ago. The doctor called me after seeing him for the 2nd time for a sonohystogram to tell me that maybe I hadn't in fact retained any tissue and that he wants to do another sonogram to look at what it could be. He also shared with me results from the bloodwork I had done. He told me that my bloodwork showed that I was heterozygous for Leiden Factor 5 which is a clotting disorder. He told me that he'd be prescribing me Lovenox injections to help with the clotting and that things looked good. He was going to have me come in after my next cycle to check out one more time what it was he saw on the sonogram. YAY! I am waiting some more, but I just feel it with every ounce of my energy that God will bless me and that my time is coming!
God has given me a wonderful family and support system. He gave me my parents who have both helped get me through this journey in their own ways. Both of my parents have helped me get through some of my grieving by talking about my feelings and that even though I was grieving, not everyone was out against me. Some people just don't know how to deal with miscarriage or loss because they have never had to deal with that. My parents have both helped me through feelings of jealousy and anger and have helped me look at the brighter side and what Jesus would do in my situation. They helped me in my prayers too in what to talk to God about and ask him for.
God has given me Nathan, my most wonderful caring loving husband. In this recent miscarriage, I see Nathan standing up to his parents and siblings for me and taking my feelings into consideration. Nathan has been the rock that I needed by my side to get me through these tough times too. Even though he doesn't talk about the whatifs, I can still see that he cares and wants me to be happy more than anything.
God gave me my son who seems to know the exact moment I need some cheering up. He gives me the most wonderful hugs just at the perfect time. There was a reason I was blessed with my son before these miscarriages. I just know that God has great plans to use Kyler in the future too!
And last but not least, God gave me his son Jesus! What I have had to go through seems so small and miniscule in comparison to what he had to give up for ME! I can only look ahead in anticipation for what God has in store for the rest of my future! God has every detail already planned out and I cannot wait to see that ALL played out!
And now, my favorite pic of Kyler since my miscarriage in April...I just LOVE that smile!
God has given me a wonderful family and support system. He gave me my parents who have both helped get me through this journey in their own ways. Both of my parents have helped me get through some of my grieving by talking about my feelings and that even though I was grieving, not everyone was out against me. Some people just don't know how to deal with miscarriage or loss because they have never had to deal with that. My parents have both helped me through feelings of jealousy and anger and have helped me look at the brighter side and what Jesus would do in my situation. They helped me in my prayers too in what to talk to God about and ask him for.
God has given me Nathan, my most wonderful caring loving husband. In this recent miscarriage, I see Nathan standing up to his parents and siblings for me and taking my feelings into consideration. Nathan has been the rock that I needed by my side to get me through these tough times too. Even though he doesn't talk about the whatifs, I can still see that he cares and wants me to be happy more than anything.
God gave me my son who seems to know the exact moment I need some cheering up. He gives me the most wonderful hugs just at the perfect time. There was a reason I was blessed with my son before these miscarriages. I just know that God has great plans to use Kyler in the future too!
And last but not least, God gave me his son Jesus! What I have had to go through seems so small and miniscule in comparison to what he had to give up for ME! I can only look ahead in anticipation for what God has in store for the rest of my future! God has every detail already planned out and I cannot wait to see that ALL played out!
And now, my favorite pic of Kyler since my miscarriage in April...I just LOVE that smile!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
FAITH continued...
So I've been thinking and trying to deal with this feeling that I have deep deep deep down inside that I WILL carry another pregnancy of my own someday...of course in God's perfect timing, but I know that I will carry another child that I will then have placed in my arms someday. Call me crazy, but the LORD will bless me and only he knows my heart's desire and only HE can fulfill those desires! I will not let the devil get to me. I will NOT let anyone take my desires away and I will NOT let anyone tell me that my God might not give me that next child. I feel it deep down inside, and he WILL!
We got the results back from the testing they did on our latest little baby...it was a BOY (I KNEW IT!) and it was perfect in every way. There was not one problem with the baby. In a way this is kind of good news, but in a way it is kind of saddening. It's good to know that it's not a problem between Nathan and I making the babies or passing down some gene, but it's sad in that I am feeling it's more something wrong with ME. I feel even more like it's a problem with MY body that my body is failing me, but then I think of my precious little boy that God already gave to me!
I hate to say it, but when I found out that Ky was a boy, I was a little bit down. I REALLY wanted him to be girl, but I must say, God knew what I needed there too. Ky is absolutely wonderful and it seems as though every time I'm feeling down, God uses Kyler to show me that he hasn't forgotten about me. He gave me Kyler to get me through these tough times. Kyler has been more than affectionate and it doesn't get rid of the feelings I'm having, but it helps me deal with those feelings and also it shows me that I am loved! I know God loves me too and only wants the best for me. Someday, I might adopt, I don't know, but I WILL carry another pregnancy to term and have another child...someday! For now, I wait and learn patience some more!
We got the results back from the testing they did on our latest little baby...it was a BOY (I KNEW IT!) and it was perfect in every way. There was not one problem with the baby. In a way this is kind of good news, but in a way it is kind of saddening. It's good to know that it's not a problem between Nathan and I making the babies or passing down some gene, but it's sad in that I am feeling it's more something wrong with ME. I feel even more like it's a problem with MY body that my body is failing me, but then I think of my precious little boy that God already gave to me!
I hate to say it, but when I found out that Ky was a boy, I was a little bit down. I REALLY wanted him to be girl, but I must say, God knew what I needed there too. Ky is absolutely wonderful and it seems as though every time I'm feeling down, God uses Kyler to show me that he hasn't forgotten about me. He gave me Kyler to get me through these tough times. Kyler has been more than affectionate and it doesn't get rid of the feelings I'm having, but it helps me deal with those feelings and also it shows me that I am loved! I know God loves me too and only wants the best for me. Someday, I might adopt, I don't know, but I WILL carry another pregnancy to term and have another child...someday! For now, I wait and learn patience some more!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day...and that it WAS! A couple times Nate asked me what was wrong, but I honestly had a PERFECT Mother's Day and wasn't down and depressed like I could have been. I don't have much time for a post tonight, but I just wanted to let you all know about what a GREAT day I had even in the midst of grief!
First, I got to go to church and again see God's power and I got to not only praise HIM, but afterwards I got to share again how God WILL use this and he WILL bless me! After church Nate made an EXCELLENT pork roast which he had been marinating ALL week long in some red wine...I didn't think I'd like it too much, but it was pretty good and the meat was quite tender! After that, I got to play outside with Kyler in shorts and a t-shirt! (What amazing weather...I usually don't wear t-shirts and shorts til at least July!) I also got to lay down and take a nap with Kyler, until he decided that enough was enough and didn't want to sleep, so Nate and I took him on another bike ride. It was relaxing, but HARD work...I think I need to get back into going to the gym again...or at least trying to ride my bike more! We stopped at the park and let Kyler play for a little bit, then came home, had dinner and gave Kyler a bath and put him to bed. And lest I forget, Nathan is the BEST husband a girl could ask for! For mother's day this year (which I opened my gift early on accident) he planned a week long trip to Florida! I'm pretty excited and I think it will be pretty fun. He said we may have to use it as mother's day/father's day and anniversary gifts, but I'm going to convince him to take me to Cedar Point on our anniversary (and leave Kyler with the grandparents) since we haven't been able to go since before Kyler...I sort of got pregnant right before we had a trip planned for our 3rd anniversary and I haven't been able to go since! This year we WILL be able to go, if nothing else for just a day and be able to spend some time on thrill rides and roller coasters just the two of us! I can't wait!
Alright, well that's about it...I'll write more about my faith and what I believe and feel right now maybe tomorrow. For now, I gotta go fold laundry and watch my weekly tv show...Desperate Housewives! Again thank-you everyone for the prayers!
First, I got to go to church and again see God's power and I got to not only praise HIM, but afterwards I got to share again how God WILL use this and he WILL bless me! After church Nate made an EXCELLENT pork roast which he had been marinating ALL week long in some red wine...I didn't think I'd like it too much, but it was pretty good and the meat was quite tender! After that, I got to play outside with Kyler in shorts and a t-shirt! (What amazing weather...I usually don't wear t-shirts and shorts til at least July!) I also got to lay down and take a nap with Kyler, until he decided that enough was enough and didn't want to sleep, so Nate and I took him on another bike ride. It was relaxing, but HARD work...I think I need to get back into going to the gym again...or at least trying to ride my bike more! We stopped at the park and let Kyler play for a little bit, then came home, had dinner and gave Kyler a bath and put him to bed. And lest I forget, Nathan is the BEST husband a girl could ask for! For mother's day this year (which I opened my gift early on accident) he planned a week long trip to Florida! I'm pretty excited and I think it will be pretty fun. He said we may have to use it as mother's day/father's day and anniversary gifts, but I'm going to convince him to take me to Cedar Point on our anniversary (and leave Kyler with the grandparents) since we haven't been able to go since before Kyler...I sort of got pregnant right before we had a trip planned for our 3rd anniversary and I haven't been able to go since! This year we WILL be able to go, if nothing else for just a day and be able to spend some time on thrill rides and roller coasters just the two of us! I can't wait!
Alright, well that's about it...I'll write more about my faith and what I believe and feel right now maybe tomorrow. For now, I gotta go fold laundry and watch my weekly tv show...Desperate Housewives! Again thank-you everyone for the prayers!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Refreshed!
I am refreshed. I was kind of not looking forward to going and getting out my feelings some more tonight, but after doing so, I feel SOOOO incredibly refreshed. It's like when you are so smelly and sweaty and you hop in the shower and just stand there under the warm running water with your soap and loofah and you just have this refreshing feeling of getting clean and all you can say is AHHHHHHH! Thank you Lord! I needed that tonight!
Before I rave about how my night was sooo wonderful and refreshing, I must preface with the fact that last night, was NOT! Last night I snapped. Last night I broke. I got through it and thankfully Nathan stuck by my side...and didn't walk out on me, but it was rough. I am so thankful I have my God, my family, and my faith because without those I don't know where I'd be.
Well, I guess I don't have much to say tonight...maybe I'll have more to write after this "mother's day" weekend. Don't forget to tell those you love and hold dear to your heart that you love them...maybe several hundred times a day!
Before I rave about how my night was sooo wonderful and refreshing, I must preface with the fact that last night, was NOT! Last night I snapped. Last night I broke. I got through it and thankfully Nathan stuck by my side...and didn't walk out on me, but it was rough. I am so thankful I have my God, my family, and my faith because without those I don't know where I'd be.
Well, I guess I don't have much to say tonight...maybe I'll have more to write after this "mother's day" weekend. Don't forget to tell those you love and hold dear to your heart that you love them...maybe several hundred times a day!
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